Hindsight is 2010
I intended to open this with a quote on the prescience of hindsight, but that would give the false impression that I fully understand the last half decade.
Five years ago was the first time I’d picked up a pen with the intent to draw since around sophomore year of high school. My initial attempts were pretty crude. I had no knowledge of anatomy to speak of and I certainly didn’t have an understanding of line. For someone who’d read comics religiously as a kid, I’d absorbed none of their drawing lessons, except for maybe the bad ones.
After some initial experiments for both an unauthorized Friday the 13th fan comic and a friend’s webcomic, I got my hands on a Wacom tablet with the hope to create pixel art for 2D platformers (and to a lesser degree, do print design work, my dayjob at the time).
My first digital work was radically different from what I’d produced analog. Lineweight variance was a given of the medium and, for someone who’d never touched brushes or nibs or anything other than a technical pen up to that point, digital seemed to promise capabilities that analog simply could not.
I met people online who drew things for money. Illustrators, they were called, and a goal blinked in my mind like the soft electric sex of a neon sign. Be. An. Illustrator.
My work changed rapidly and I reveled in the amount of detail I was able to heap onto images. I didn’t know much of anything about color theory, so I relied on instinct. The result was highly saturated colors and secondary and triadic color schemes that, five years ago, were a bit ahead of the ‘80s trend resurgence and more unique than they would be now. This style dominated my work for the next three or so years. I made my first forays into hand lettering. I forced my way into the jobs I wanted and was pretty fearless.
Hubris has a funny way of making its wielder plummet to the earth. The work I was creating was technically good in some ways, but inconsistent. I didn’t know much in the way of color theory, composition, or anatomy. Occasionally, something neat would happen in a piece, but I didn’t understand exactly what the magic sauce was that made it work. I started to doubt my work. My lack of a formal art education undermined my confidence. My previously prolific work life slowed to a crawl. I did only the bare minimum work required of me. Pay work got done, but personal work all but shriveled up and died. This crisis of confidence coincided with a series of crap events. My dog died. The economy collapsed. I got a Cintiq thinking it would allow me greater control and might push the next evolutionary stage of my work and it did the exact opposite.
I spent the better part of the last year making up for my lack of confidence. I moved back to analog materials in an attempt to circumvent what I felt was a lack of precision in digital tools. My precision had outstripped the Cintiq’s. I drew from life and read everything I could on anatomy, color, composition, linework, and mass. I breathed a sigh of relief as work picked up and I felt productive once again.
My digital work changed. Painterly work seemed better suited to the dull instruments that digital offered. I embraced a larger scope of interest than the limited color work which had been my bread and butter.
My work has entered a state of serious flux. I struggle with my lack of formal art education. I’m a work in progress, but I’ve come to hope that I will always be. I’ll never be satisfied with my work, but that just might be more blessing than curse. Here’s to hoping that 2010 proves that true.
Dec 29th, 2009 #
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Frenden, Frenden. Frenden said: http://frenden.com/hindsight-is-2010/ Just wrote a blog post with some REALLY EMBARASSING old work. Feel free to look and laugh! [...]
Dec 29th, 2009 #
This is not ‘really embarrassing’. If you wanted to show them really embarrassing work, you’d go get those binders filled with “Ray – The Teen Years”.
Dec 29th, 2009 #
That’s what that first drawing is from!
Dec 29th, 2009 #
God I love your work!
Dec 29th, 2009 #
Nice post, Ray. Post and evolve. Post and evolve. Rinse and repeat. The mainstay of most art educations is life drawing and the challenges a structured set of exercises brings with it. You’re doing fine and staying hungry is the key. Looking forward to the next post. (As always.)
Dec 29th, 2009 #
Thanks, David.
Charlie, agreed. The tl;dr version of the post is “Shit changes, be flexible and embrace it.”
Dec 29th, 2009 #
There are so many ways to take “Shit changes, be flexible and embrace it.” Okay, I’ve got to go get all that out of my head. Right now. Ugh.
Dec 29th, 2009 #
Hyperbolic shit! Figurative shit!
Wait. That’s not really helping, is it?
Dec 29th, 2009 #
I am proud to have been a tiny little signpost on the long road of your development. Keep punching!
Dec 30th, 2009 #
Your progress is truly inspiring. Continue kicking ass in the new year!
Dec 30th, 2009 #
Ray, when I first learned from one of your posts on TCJ.com that you had only been drawing (at that time) about three years, I was flabbergasted. Your work had an assurance and bravado that seemed born of years of dedicated work at your craft. I understand what you’re saying here, and it is indicative of your own seriousness of purpose: you look at your work at see its faults; amateurs look at their own work and see only brilliance.
There are many artists who have never had formal art education–R.Crumb, for one–but the only real development comes from constant work, drawing, honest self-critiques, and more work. One can do this without being in the classroom, and many who get art degrees may as well not have bothered.
I enjoy your work and I applaud your constant striving. Keep at it!
Dec 30th, 2009 #
Thanks for sharing, your progress is pretty inspiring! As someone who has formal art school training, I can say it is absolutely not necessary. Any person spending all day, every day, drawing for four years is going to improve by leaps and bounds. You are absolute proof all it takes is dedication, and a willingness to understand what you don’t know and adjust your personal education accordingly. (Talent also helps tremendously haha.)
I ended up taking a more stable job in the commercial art world after graduation, and I’m hoping that with some dedication I can change careers back to my original interest and love, illustration. So thanks for the insight!
Dec 31st, 2009 #
Earlier this year I put your web site in my bookmarks. I’ve returned to it many times. I am learning too. A little more every day. I logged on today to review something you wrote about drawing. I have done a lot of computer art but not with a tablet. I’m returning to the traditional forms. I’ve been a freelancer for 20+ years. My work is getting better and better but I can’t even get through the door to show it to anyone. I think there are fewer opportunities for freelancers these days. I’m at a loss. Keep up the good work!
Eric
Jan 1st, 2010 #
Paul, I’m glad too.
Allan, you too!
Robert, those earlier days spent on the TCJ board definitely provided some inspiration. Sad to see that it’s largely gone. Thanks for the well wishes!
Beth, illustration is a career that’s largely become obviated. Eric, hits it on the head. You’ve really got to be top of the heap in order to get seen and get work. Maintaining a variety of online presences helps, but that can almost be more work than the illustrating, hah!
Here’s to hoping 2010 is better for everybody.
Jan 6th, 2010 #
Ray, thank you for writing this blog post.
I used to be the kind of kid (and teenager) who never put down a pen or a brush, was always hunched over a sketch pad or easel, and after fine arts and design degrees I worked my way into a career as a print designer.
Somewhere in the last 5 years, I lost the drive to draw… I became so used to following instructions and making the client happy (usually with sensible, clean corporate design) that when the end of each day rolled around, I didn’t have anything more to give to create something I was interested in.
Without sounding like one of those ‘oh this is the tale of my life blah blah’ Internet frequenters, I was made redundant on New Year’s Eve, and now have a lot of free time to evaluate where I want to be. I’ve started to look at my old scribbles, half-baked projects and the like with fresh eyes. I’m inspired again.
Basically, it’s a lesson in never taking anything for granted and the importance of taking stock of your own situation every once in a while. Like you, my confidence in putting my work out there or even working on my own stuff for ME totally took a back seat… I’m hoping this new start is what I need to find direction again.
Anyway, wanted to thank you for sharing your illustrative journey. Have been following the change from digital to painterly style via Twitter and enjoying the updates.
Cheers,
Bree
(@_pants_)
Feb 1st, 2010 #
Your constant progress and it’s continuity is truly inspiring. It gives me hope for myself. Every time I get a little lazy and don’t feel like practicing I visit your site and next thing you know, Manga Studio is fired up and ready. :)
Great post man.
Feb 22nd, 2010 #
Ray, good stuff, man. Really good stuff. It gives hope to someone like me who went from drawing everyday as a kid to not drawing at all as an adult (stupid computers). I started using Manga Studio because of your work. I don’t draw everyday anymore, but observing your process and evolution makes me want to get back into that habit. Thanks for the inspiration!